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How to Avoid a Military Dating Scam

MSG Robert Mclaughlin has been assisting our readers ferret out military dating scammers since I wrote Internet Dating Scam: Fake Soldiers back in October of 2009.

Moreover, he’s also been educating us about how to avoid getting caught up in a military dating scam.

His latest comment highlighted in point form all the things to look for when you meet someone online who says he or she is in the military. (Note: some changes have been made to the original text simply for readability. The original meaning remains unchanged).

  1. If he says he is military do not trust, especially if he uses a hotmail, yahoo or other free email account address. Ask for his email address ending in .mil. All military folks have one. If he says he doesn’t have one, or won’t give it to you, he is not a soldier. If he says it’s secret then demand the other one. YES, there are classified email addresses out there but all military personnel also have an unclassified address.
  2. Is he claiming that someone in his family died? Wife, parents, kid,etc? Check the social security death index to verify his claims.
  3. Is he divorced? Ask him in which county he received his divorce decree. Records of the divorce will be on file and many counties have the information online now.
  4. If he is telling you that he needs money to take leave, here are some facts. We earn 2.5 days of leave per month. That’s 30 days a year. If we pay for leave we only pay the plane ticket in the states. So maybe he needs $400 to fly coast to coast. You do not want a man who cannot even afford a plane ticket at that age. We pay no money for leave at all. The form we use is DA31, Google it. Anything else is fake.
  5. If he is under cover or on secret work he would never tell you unless you have a clearance and a need to know what he does. So that is a lie.
  6. Ask for a picture of his CAC card or have him take a picture of himself for you and have him write your name on a piece of paper for the photo. That is very simple to do.
  7. Scammers who lure women talk of love now and in the future. Scammers who lure men do so with promises of sex. Remember if the person is not acting like the opposite sex, it is a scam.
  8. Ask their name, rank, and social. Not classified and even what you tell the enemy when captured. If he wants you to show your devotion by sending money, well he can show his by providing information you can verify.
  9. I have checked out over 50 claimed soldiers for folks here. Only one was really who he said he was. The odds are that his claim of being a soldier is fake if you have doubts.

Thanks again kindly to MSG Robert Mclaughlin for providing us with this very useful information.


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Comments

  1. Hello.. my name is Mr Wilson i am a police officer who help others to get they money back if they have been a scam victims you should not worry i will get all your money back for you as soon you want your money back this is my mail address wilson010kiss@hotmail.co.uk i will kindly replay your fast hope to hear from you soon have a nice day wilson

  2. Met someone on a dating site 2 weeks ago. Think I am being misled. He sayes he is Sargent Thomas Brown Army Reserves, home base March Air base California, currently deployed in Kandahar Afganistan. Gave me his birth date and home city here in CA. email adress thomas_b2259@yahoo.com, but I am not sure how to find out if he is legit. He has been telling me he loves me and just recently asked me to send a care package. He didnt ask for anything special to be included just white tee shirt and deodorent. I haven’t sent it. then he told me he dropped his laptop and wants to know if I can send him one so we can communicate without him needing to use his friends. This made me start to wonder. Then I asked if he could just call me but he said only his commander can use the phone. Please someone tell me how I can find out if this man is real. I already feel foolish.

  3. mY Name is Wilson I am Poilce officer who ever get scam and really need your money back should let me know i can help you …. i have help soo many woman before so do not worrry to mail me at wilson010kiss@hotmail.co.uk send me a mail there and i will get back at you soon

  4. This can be the worst post of all, I’ve read

  5. I met someone on Okcupid and he seemed pretty legit. He claimed his name was Dale Lawrence. He claimed to be a commander in the Navy- in fact, he claimed to be a Navy Seal. His profile picture is a group picture of the guys that caught Bin Ladin. He claimed to be the second from the left, from row. This guy was smooth! He had every little detail worked out. Except—-he wanted me to text him. His cell phone number was a local cell number even though he claims he’s a deployed, Black Ops person. At one point, my phone called him and he sent me a text saying that voice traffic could be tracked and he couldn’t talk. He would claim he was nine hours ahead in time zones and he had a pretty decent backstory. But, he claimed he couldn’t give out his AKO because he was black ops. His pay grade seemed right. I did as this blog suggested and asked him for anything to verify he was who he said he was. He said, “I can’t even get a magazine subscription with my name on it.” and said he couldn’t give me the AKO because “the brass” might read it. I feel pretty emotionally worn out. That old adage is true: if it sounds too good to be true; it probably is.

  6. tina sweet says

    anyone heard of Major Waynes Baines in Kabul?

  7. MSG Robert McLaughlin says

    Terri,
    No such rank and Second Captain!

  8. I reported Dan Robles to okcupid. It took 5 days before they shut him down. Problem is they can come back on as someone else.

    I also forwarded the diplomat’s email to the FBI. They responded and cc’d the diplomat. I never heard from the diplomat again

  9. Does anyone know of a second captain wyan mallon ? please let me know if you do . Thank You

  10. MSG Robert McLaughlin says

    Karla, he is fake and hits a majority of the things to watch out for in my posted list. Dump him!

  11. Anyone hear of a Daniel Robles, E-7, he allegedly is in Afghanistan, claims he has a Diplomat that delivers all pkg, is requesting 400 to have diplomat send his pkg. claims he is undercover, and his account is frozen. Wife died in childbirth and no family available. Parents both deceased. He does not have a .mil account.

  12. Here is another scammer…He ask to be friends on facebook and i excepted. When we started talking and I asked for him to email me from his mil address he said he would and naturally he didn’t have the right one. This is the name he is using:(The whole world deserves a friend like u but Am Col Daniel Roper Us Army,I saw your profile and I would like to know you better coz am searching for someone to call MINE. I will be glad if you can accept my friendship so we can take it to the next level,I will be looking forward to read from you. Bye with best regard.)He is even using the real Daniel Roper’s name and occupation as peacekeeping mission. When I checked this morning his profile is gone…I was letting him know that I was checking him out to see if he was a scammer or not so I guess he ran..

    I also have another one that I will be checking out that goes by the name Thomas Wedel…

  13. WARNING: Another scammer from Nigeria who has stolen a picture of a US Army Soldier. The scammer’s name is Curry Marc. Don’t fall for him. He is trying to scam for 2000usd and a plane ticket and some more cash. Ladies don’t fall for it. He is definitely Nigerian and he says he was stationed in Kabul and is in Afhaganistan. Please don’t fall for it. He also says his bank account is frozen and he has 2.6million in his account. He wants to know how much you make a month and how much you have in your account. DO NOT BE STUPID TO FALL FOR SOMEONE LIKE THIS. BE SAFE!!!

    PEACE, LOVE & GOD BLESS!

  14. @ Tammy this Owen Matt Steven sounds like a Name a scammer would make up have you seen him on webcam for at least a 45 minute to 2 hour chat? not some prerecorded crap have you seen his Military ID Not some photoshopped crap you will be able to spot a Fake I despise scammers period but the ones posing as US Military chaps my ass because my husband is Military

    First things first google that Name
    2nd tell him to email you from his Military email address should end in . mil only anything beyond .mil is a fraud

    Ask him for his address and what base he deployed from and what State its in while chatting with him on cam

    ask him to send you a copy of his State Id Card and Military id card (US Military ID cards CANNOT be duplicated) They are also NOT green

    If he uses the same pic hes stolen from the real soldier to make a fake State ID card in uniform you know its a fraud
    ask him what his MOS is ask him to send you a copy of his most recent LES hell if hes declaring love already ask him to send them for the last 6 months a scammer will get upset and say I dont like you asking this questions.

    They are very ignorant they know absolutely NOTHING about the US Military

    They overuse their fake titles in unofficial emails DEAD giveaway if you have NEVER seen this persons face they could be anyone ALWAYS insist they get on webcam and prove who they are DEMAND IT!

    If they claim to be special ops that is a dead give away I had one tell me he was retired from the Military claimed he was a submariner and a Navy Seal except for one thing my husbands in the US Navy so it sucked to be that lying beggar so I baited him for 7 Months.

    Anonn

  15. Has anyone heard of a ssg in us army called Owen matt Stevens

  16. Well the agent was a local newsagent and the money was to be sent to a third party in Benin, i have all the bank details requested, phone numbers for one man. When i told him he was a scam he continued to contact me and has been stating that I have to comply with Admin. He said he was disappointed in me and the decision i made. The money was sent and then i was notified by him that there was a problem and i would need to sort it out the money was sent in the wrong currency, i went to the post office and luckily I cancelled the transaction and got my money back. He is still contacting me. I had a missed call on my mobile from a Nigerian number. Should i report this to someone? These men have my personal details both of them. I googled one of the mens photos and apparently it is a man named Mark Mcleod in the pictures not at all the man that he was supposed to be when I questioned this he said someone hack his computer come on hack think he meant hacked and that i had to believe him. The other man who claims to be a US Lt nothing came up when i googled his photos. I dont want to be contacted by them and have told them so, but they both say they are to be believed.

  17. MSG Robert McLaughlin says

    Michelle,
    No such thing as marriage leave.
    Leave does not cost money.
    Yahoo and Live are not military addresses. A real military address ends in .mil not .com.
    Who is this “agent”? If it is your bank it it their issue to fix with you. If it is a contact given to you by the person you tried to send it to, you are being scammed. They will keep saying there are issues with sending it to get you to send it again and again.

  18. can someone help me how to see if Im being scammed Im pretty sure iam after what i have read. i have been contacted and chatting with a so called Lt Alexis Woods who is stationed in Libya, Benin. he has asked me to send money so we are able to talk over the phone, has asked me to marry him and asked me to send $8000 for marriage leave. He has given me an email which is a yahoo email and a email that is supposed to be US Army Care Unit an admin dept on base which is a live email address. He asked me to send the money today for a calling card price ranged from $365 USD to $1346 usd depending on time. I had doubys but rtoday sent he money only $365 usd as i thought he must be genuine. Fortunately my agent got the details wrong and the money is sitting in the wrong country. each time i have sent an email to the US Army Care Unit they respond immediately except for today then i got a feeling that they did not semd emails when he was offline i dont know doubts came again. I finally had contact when he noticed the money was sent to the wrong country then the messages came flowing through aain but ubtil i agreed to send the money he has been watching everytime i get online and tells me to get offline and get some sleep cause he concerned mmmm. Today he mentioned that he is getting lean and needs some money he says he does get a small aklllowance but not enough when i emailed Us army care the so called sargeant advised me to send 8000 thats when i clicked and realised something was not right then i have looked over all the correspondenace and it is everything the posts are saying about being a scam, i have names of colleagues etc and how can i find out whether this guy is a scammer and does anyone know whether i can recover my money if it is sitting in the wrong country seriously i need advice.

  19. Jennifer,

    Just put it this way BODE is scared now. I made him very upset and just put it this way I have had many years of training in my field to deal with these types of individuals. I have had over 20 years of mindgames, so I can put it right back to them. I learned from the very best, great teachers. He had a check sent to me for almost $10,000 and he wanted me to still send it to him after he knows I know he is a scam artist. I told him if he wants it come and get it. LOL!!! I told him I would meet him at the bank and he could have it one big lump sum. He said he did not want anything to do with me, but he still wants me to send the money wire it and moneygram it. I don’t think so, he can do his own jail time. Don’t worry he can’t run forever and he needs to be looking over his shoulder cause he is going to get caught. In due time, you just wait and see. Did he want to marry you and be your everything and you be his? He is a good writer I will say that and he likes writing the same book over and over again. That is getting old. I say his brother’s crude oil business can help his brother out in East Timor along with Sandra, and his friends in Pennsylvania, Chicago, IL, California, and Florida plus anywhere else they are from. All I can say is they need to go back home where they belong and it is not here in the USA. They are scamming Americans.

  20. MSG Robert McLaughlin,

    I just wanted to say Bode is mad at me cause Sandra told him I am on here and helping others out there not to fall for his trap. He has a hot temper and does not want to talk to me again. LOL! I did have a military email until I left my position as a FRG leader. I know that my military email did not fall off the face of the Earth. Should we give out our emails to others on here that have been victims of certain fakes? This way maybe we could share our stories with one another on a more personal basis.

    Jennifer,
    All I can say is that he better stay in Europe. Did he tell you he wanted to marry you? He loves you and wants to get you in trouble with the law or bankrupt you (oops that part he left out). You are the woman of his dreams, that dream wife of his? We all have fallen for some line once in our lives, the good thing is we can learn our lesson and move on. We know what to look out for in the here and now and into our future.

  21. Jennifer,

    Don’t fall for his lies. Get rid of him and block him from your site. Look at Nneka’s words. Don’t let him bring you down. Don’t stoop to his level, you are a better person than that. We women need to bond together and not let these types of crooks take advantage of us. Justice needs to be served and these types of individuals need to be off that

    His brother got into an automobile accident in East Timor and has a life threatening injury from October, then again the end of November into December and another accident in January. All I can say is his brother heals fast from one accident to another. I am not sure how many more he has convinced this same story up until now. They are all back injuries, but he can’t give any medical details or terms, LOL!. I have seen 3 of us, report his same sad story to. I love his southerner accent, LOL! He said, he was going on leave and has not done what he said. I think every month he is coming home and is retiring from Bode Military Academy. He can’t decide if he has been in for 19 or 20 years. One thing is he does not know what branch of service he belongs to either. LOL! I know military men are proud of the years they have been in and what rank they are cause it is a power trip for them. Bode is very undecisive and can’t make up his mind of who his is and what title he is in the NAVY, no I mean the BODE ACADEMY. He says he is in the US Navy and he can’t and won’t give you a rank nor his military email. He seems to be a loving, caring person at first, but he can turn on you in an instance. Don’t let him manipulate you! He is not worth it! Don’t let him know your real address or anything. Make sure you can record telephone calls and what have you if you can. Military men that are honest you will know cause they love letters and things so they can show it off there are ways of contacting them whereever they are stationed. Military can get leave when there is a crisis in the family, he is helpless. Military is for the family. A lot of these scam artist tell you they are the only child, their parents are deceased, they have a child that their girlfriend left behind to be with another man, they might have 1 or 2 siblings, etc. They come up with some really off the wall stories. He travels a lot for being on an aircraft carrier, he was out to sea and for some reason never mentioned the things that his aircraft carrier was involved in which is something to be very proud of. He does NOT have military smarts what so ever. You can also go to your local recruiting center and ask questions also. He is not where he says he is. Read Nneka story it goes hand in hand with mine. Now he is in Europe, he should be in East Timor with that dying brother of his that has needed surgery since October, isn’t that correct Nneka? He has no place to call HOME! He is a traveling man. He loves to call ya BABY! I am a woman not a baby!!! Maybe we should get a support group going and reach out to others. Just don’t send no money nor cash any checks!!!! Let the bank deal with it. HE is not worth going to PRISON over.

    Take Care & God Bless BE STRONG DON’T LET HIM THREATEN YOU!!!!

  22. Jennifer,

    Don’t fall for his lies. Get rid of him and block him from your site. Look at Nneka’s words. Don’t let him bring you down. Don’t stoop to his level, you are a better person than that. We women need to bond together and not let these types of crooks take advantage of us. Justice needs to be served and these types of individuals need to be off that

    His brother got into an automobile accident in East Timor and has a life threatening injury from October, then again the end of November into December and another accident in January. All I can say is his brother heals fast from one accident to another. I am not sure how many more he has convinced this same story up until now. They are all back injuries, but he can’t give any medical details or terms, LOL!. I have seen 3 of us, report his same sad story to. I love his southerner accent, LOL! He said, he was going on leave and has not done what he said. I think every month he is coming home and is retiring from Bode Military Academy. He can’t decide if he has been in for 19 or 20 years. One thing is he does not know what branch of service he belongs to either. LOL! I know military men are proud of the years they have been in and what rank they are cause it is a power trip. They are undecisive and can’t make up their mind who they are or what their title is in the NAVY. He says he is in the US Navy and he can’t and won’t give you a rank nor his military email. He seems to be a loving caring person at first but he can turn on you in an instance. Don’t let him manipulate you! He is not worth it! Don’t let him know your real address or anything. Make sure you can record telephone calls and what have you if you can. Military men that are honest you will know cause they love letters and things so they can show it off there are ways of contacting them whereever they are stationed. They can get leave when there is a crisis in the family, he is helpless. Military is for the family. A lot of these scam artist tell you they are the only child, their parents are deceased, they have a child that their girlfriend left behind to be with another man, tthey might have 1 or 2 siblings, etc. They come up with some really off the wall stories. He travels a lot for being on an aircraft carrier, he was out to sea and for some reason never mentioned the things that his aircraft carrier was involved in which is something to be very proud of. He does not have military smarts what so ever. You can also go to your local recruiting center and ask questions also. He is not where he says he is. Read Nneka story it goes hand in hand with mine. Now he is in Europe, he should be in East Timor with that dying brother of his that has needed surgery since October, isn’t that correct Nneka?

  23. I just received an e mail from a sgt .richard jordan asking me to send money to help pay for sgt.matt hillers needed surgery. I was writting to sgt matt hiller on a dateing site Girls date for free . 0n january 21 i g ot an email from sgt.richard jordan saying that sgt matt hiller had been shot and needs surgery . but because they r under cover they can not notify the base .So i need to send money to Nigeria to help save his life . each day after i would receive emails asking about when i would b sending money for the surgery . Tonight i received another, so asked what happens after his surgery ? Where does he go to get heald ? He answerd Washington our head quaters we are sending him there . So i asked ,you will notify head quaters after his surgery to send him to washinton ,but u cant notify them to save his life and do the surgery ? he Immediatly went off line .. ladies beware

  24. I feel so stupid!

  25. Ok, did a little home work of my own and guess what I found..
    1. he doesnt have a mil. address(tried his name several ways)
    2. traced his IP address, well guess where it leadme to, Nigeria
    3. the pictures he sent me are all small except the one with his uniform and name on his jacket. is 1 mb , if there is a Mark Owen deceased or alive and in the military he needs to be informed that someone is using his Pictures.Havent asked him for any ID yet
    4.says he isn’t allowed to call would have to get clearence from his CO
    5. Have asked for a recent picture from him and told him I know he can get one, havent gotten it yet
    This guy is so convincing though…But I am not stupid. Little does he know I have been playing with him for amusment…He was even Texting me the last 3 days of my dad’s life while I was at the hospital with him saying how he loved me and needed to be here for me and couldn’t and to be strong..like now I am having trouble with my blood pressure and he acts so concerned…He is good!!!
    This has been going on for 4 months now and why he is still around I have no idea.I have saved every conversation with him..He did delete his Facebook account though after we started talking in yahoo messenger and doesnt have a picture on his yahoo profile, got rid of it soon after we met…
    I think I will play it out, says his tour is suppose to be over in March but now he is telling me that it may be extended 3 more months and that would give me time to try to come up with the money for his “gold Box” to send home to me…NOT!!!

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