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How to Avoid a Military Dating Scam

MSG Robert Mclaughlin has been assisting our readers ferret out military dating scammers since I wrote Internet Dating Scam: Fake Soldiers back in October of 2009.

Moreover, he’s also been educating us about how to avoid getting caught up in a military dating scam.

His latest comment highlighted in point form all the things to look for when you meet someone online who says he or she is in the military. (Note: some changes have been made to the original text simply for readability. The original meaning remains unchanged).

  1. If he says he is military do not trust, especially if he uses a hotmail, yahoo or other free email account address. Ask for his email address ending in .mil. All military folks have one. If he says he doesn’t have one, or won’t give it to you, he is not a soldier. If he says it’s secret then demand the other one. YES, there are classified email addresses out there but all military personnel also have an unclassified address.
  2. Is he claiming that someone in his family died? Wife, parents, kid,etc? Check the social security death index to verify his claims.
  3. Is he divorced? Ask him in which county he received his divorce decree. Records of the divorce will be on file and many counties have the information online now.
  4. If he is telling you that he needs money to take leave, here are some facts. We earn 2.5 days of leave per month. That’s 30 days a year. If we pay for leave we only pay the plane ticket in the states. So maybe he needs $400 to fly coast to coast. You do not want a man who cannot even afford a plane ticket at that age. We pay no money for leave at all. The form we use is DA31, Google it. Anything else is fake.
  5. If he is under cover or on secret work he would never tell you unless you have a clearance and a need to know what he does. So that is a lie.
  6. Ask for a picture of his CAC card or have him take a picture of himself for you and have him write your name on a piece of paper for the photo. That is very simple to do.
  7. Scammers who lure women talk of love now and in the future. Scammers who lure men do so with promises of sex. Remember if the person is not acting like the opposite sex, it is a scam.
  8. Ask their name, rank, and social. Not classified and even what you tell the enemy when captured. If he wants you to show your devotion by sending money, well he can show his by providing information you can verify.
  9. I have checked out over 50 claimed soldiers for folks here. Only one was really who he said he was. The odds are that his claim of being a soldier is fake if you have doubts.

Thanks again kindly to MSG Robert Mclaughlin for providing us with this very useful information.

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  1. Lisa Chapa says

    i been talking with a guy stating that his in the army of Fort Irwin, California his is deployed to Turkey his name is Kelvin Sillvarss with a date of birth dec 24 76 he has never asked for money but for itune cards I really would like to know if his real. can you help me my email is I would appreciate it so much. Lisa Chapa

  2. Does anyone know second lieutenant Christopher N Mendez?

  3. Annemarie Scott says

    Unfortunatly i was scammed about 4 months ago back may it startd i sent him 500 pounds and had me truly convinced i was in love with him untill my friends sister pulled up an artical reading that this person had died back in 2001 in active duty if only i had seen the artical before now x

  4. Has anyone encountered a Frank Kassman. I think he is scamming my mother

  5. I am talking to someone who claims to be in the military but with UN….name is Patrick mills…..any way to verify him or his claims. He sent a pic of his card and drivers license, but I ran across a scammer recently and busted him, he then gave me a lot of info about their equipment and how they not only steal pics from social media but they fake id and military cards…..can you help me….the guy I’m talking too hasn’t really asked for anything, but I received a couple other friend request with his same pic… do I know which one is real if any??

  6. MSG Robert McLaughlin says

    You need 20 years to retire form the military, but you can retire sooner if you have an injury (medical discharge). I still see the scammers out there, talk of Ghana, Syria, with a wife killed in a car crash… hey people killed in car crashed make the papers! ASK FOR THE DATE she was killed, her name, and look it up! These people HATE questions and will accuse you of not trusting them. Tell them YUP I DON’T TRUST YOU. Us military folk have no trouble answering direct questions.

  7. There is a dating site called meet me I have noticed 3 men I believed are pretending to be military men. Thanks to this site I’m not a victim. They would not give me proof of CAC card or military email. it’s sad that there are people out there faking to be our great soilders. When something feels to good to be true it probably is,Be careful. Louis spear, Porter, westley Specter. They were able to give a photos that they could of pulled from anywhere and were looking for a wife for when they get back. Red flags where they say I love you after a couple days of talking. One said they would have their agent contact me to help me home hunt. Another requested my bank account information to transfer hi money into. They want you to trust them and feel threatened if you ask the for their CAC card or military email saying that’s only for the commander to know. I’m hoping my post can help others so they don’t fall victim of this fake love.

    • You could not have said it better i am with you 100% stay bless

    • Hi I have a question was one of the guys on meet me named Nathan?

    • Yea I meet one on line showed me some pictures of him with the uniform on. But said he was not allowed to call me because if he did he go to jail. I don’t know much about the Army but I don’t really believe what he saying

  8. Have been talking to a SFC Frank Pofcher for 5 months . When we met he said he was going to be home in a month then he said his deployment was going to be another six months but he could put in for a transit leave but would have to pay for his own ticket home and he would also need to pay for insurance. I have tried looking him up but can find nothing on him. He has also said that he doesn’t have access to his checking acc

  9. Stephany Grindol says

    I have been contacted by a Sgt. MOLTER ANDERSON in Afghanistan this tour, Syria before that. Professed love eternal and marriage after one week even though I told him I am married (separated for 4 years). Wife killed in car wreck, 8 y/o daughter who is cared for by his mom while he’s deployed. His mom is a missionary in Africa and she has his daughter with her. He has not asked for $$ but said he was retiring after 18 years in Army and since he sent all his $$ home to his mom he didn’t know how he was going to get home. I told him the Army got him to the war zone they would get him home! He also won’t give me an email address though I have asked. He sometimes sounds like he slips into a foreign manner of speaking. Have you heard of him? Photos on Facebook.

    • I believe you must serve 20 yrs service before you can retire. And yes the Military will take care of sending you home. He mentions Ghana so my guess is he is probably a scammer from Ghana. Delete and Block.

      • Pauline clarke says

        Hi I got friend request on facebook, so I clicked yes, asked how he found me as I have my own friends, he said he was looking for a fired of his ,found me .first day just hi.2nd day small talk said he wanted to marry me,weird.. blocked himself 3rd day.back on 4th day,his name is Sanders Muksin E-7 Sergeant First Class us army.those couple days of talking asking what I did for work ,how much I made,when I get paid,had ex-wife 1 son, adopted 1 in Ghana ,5th day asked for $200 to buy something for himself and not to be mad,begging .wow I blocked him

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