Is She or He Really Interested in You?

Someone has caught your eye and you would like to get to know them better, but you’re not sure if they even know you exist, let alone if they would like to spend more time with you. How can you get a feeling for their interest?

Here are 5 suggestions:

1. Go somewhere with a group of mutual friends and pay attention to how the person you are interested in responds to what you do and say. Do they stick by your side most of the evening? Do they listen intently to everything you say? Is there frequent eye contact between the two of you? All of these could indicate a higher level of interest than just being “one of the gang.”
2. If you are planning to go with a group of your friends to something such as a Museum or Zoo outing, ask the person you are interested in if they would like to come with the group, but not necessarily just as your date. If they are eager to come and your interactions while out with this group are positive, it could indicate that there is a possibility that a more personal date with you might be welcome.
3. If things seem to be going well in a group environment, and you feel positive about this person’s feelings for you, ask him or her if they would be interested in going out to get something to eat after the group excursion is over. Or maybe just a cup of coffee – something non-threatening. If they accept, that’s great! If not, maybe their reason at the moment is justified. Maybe they would be happy to have dinner with you another time. You should be able to tell by their attitude. In any event, it’s a less threatening way to ask someone out after being together in a group environment than just a “cold call” kind of approach.
4. Are the two of you college classmates, or peers at the same company? Ask him or her for help with something you are doing. Be sincere and make sure the person you are asking has the knowledge or experience to help you with your request. You will be able to tell by their reaction if they are interested in helping you because they are interested in YOU, or just because they’re a nice person and want to be helpful.
5. A non-threatening way to give someone a gift is to support a local fundraiser, either through your College or workplace. This is especially nice around the romantic holidays, such as Valentine’s Day. You will show them that you thought of them and that you support the fundraising program, two points in your favor.

One thing to keep in mind is that anyone you might be attracted to, if they are worth your time, should be flattered if you let them know that you are “interested” in them. So, don’t be shy about expressing your interest. If they are the type of person you think they are, they will let you know in a kind way whether they reciprocate your feelings or not.