How to Decipher Men’s Personal Ads

Affectionate – wants to have sex on the first date
Intelligent – won’t tell you until the first date what affectionate means
Passionate – wants sex early on or you’re finished
Self- Employed – unemployed and sells things on e-bay, insolvent
Free-Spirit – no job, no house, sleeps on a friend’s couch
Fun-loving – wants sex with no commitment
Adventurous – wants casual sex, phone and text sex, 3-somes, swinging
Open-minded – wants the above and for you not to object
Friends first – impotent
Adventurous – wants sex in the car on the first date
Separated – married and wife doesn’t want sex
Life & soul of party – mental
Outgoing – loud and embarrassing
Young attitude – thinks they can get 18-25 year olds
Log fires, beach walks – will say whatever it takes to have sex
Women have done me wrong – wants a pity shag
Do anything for the right woman – has no money to go out and will blame this on you
About average – fat
A few extra pounds – John Goodman
6 ft – 5 ft 10”
Over 6ft – odd looking and shrek-like
Over 40 & uses smilies – internet, MSN and/or porn addict
Heavy usage of site – internet and porn addict
On multiple sites – should be on Adult Friend Finder but hasn’t got nerve or is impotent