MSG Robert Mclaughlin has been assisting our readers ferret out military dating scammers since I wrote Internet Dating Scam: Fake Soldiers back in October of 2009.
Moreover, he’s also been educating us about how to avoid getting caught up in a military dating scam.
His latest comment highlighted in point form all the things to look for when you meet someone online who says he or she is in the military. (Note: some changes have been made to the original text simply for readability. The original meaning remains unchanged).
- If he says he is military do not trust, especially if he uses a hotmail, yahoo or other free email account address. Ask for his email address ending in .mil. All military folks have one. If he says he doesn’t have one, or won’t give it to you, he is not a soldier. If he says it’s secret then demand the other one. YES, there are classified email addresses out there but all military personnel also have an unclassified address.
- Is he claiming that someone in his family died? Wife, parents, kid,etc? Check the social security death index to verify his claims.
- Is he divorced? Ask him in which county he received his divorce decree. Records of the divorce will be on file and many counties have the information online now.
- If he is telling you that he needs money to take leave, here are some facts. We earn 2.5 days of leave per month. That’s 30 days a year. If we pay for leave we only pay the plane ticket in the states. So maybe he needs $400 to fly coast to coast. You do not want a man who cannot even afford a plane ticket at that age. We pay no money for leave at all. The form we use is DA31, Google it. Anything else is fake.
- If he is under cover or on secret work he would never tell you unless you have a clearance and a need to know what he does. So that is a lie.
- Ask for a picture of his CAC card or have him take a picture of himself for you and have him write your name on a piece of paper for the photo. That is very simple to do.
- Scammers who lure women talk of love now and in the future. Scammers who lure men do so with promises of sex. Remember if the person is not acting like the opposite sex, it is a scam.
- Ask their name, rank, and social. Not classified and even what you tell the enemy when captured. If he wants you to show your devotion by sending money, well he can show his by providing information you can verify.
- I have checked out over 50 claimed soldiers for folks here. Only one was really who he said he was. The odds are that his claim of being a soldier is fake if you have doubts.
Thanks again kindly to MSG Robert Mclaughlin for providing us with this very useful information.
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Grace,
That’s the classic spammer right here. Total fake. Ask for his .mil email address and then chat in that. Watch, he will get mad for you not trusting him. Fake fake fake!
Two of his pictures have a little girl in so i dont know.he says he cannot acces his bank accounts in togo so needs my help.
Been talking to someone a few weeks claiming to be us army sergeant anthony hills,1st calvairy division on special deployment division in lome togo.he has asked me for money.once to buy his daughter a birthday present and then a release form fee for six months holiday which he says he is 250 dollars short of.since i said no yesterday i have had no messages from him.he said he is from chicago usa and gave me a dv numberDex d-4125 he says he needs to get home to see his little girl for christmas.he reckons he is at lome aguew military base lome togo.he constantly calls me baby and talks about god.he also said he served in iraq before the red night whatever that means.he has a facebook and flirtomatic acoount and yahoo id.his email is camillehills@yahoo.com.please can you check all this info out and let me know what you think.kind regards grace .
Patricia,
An email address ending in USA.COM is not military, the last three letters, .com, mean commercial. it needs to be .mil only.
Suzi,
The pictures are stolen off of facebook or myspace or other sites, they will be small like 150k or less in size. Real pictures out of cameras are megabytes in size not kilobytes so you know they have been resized and reposted and do not belong to the sender.
Belle,
Ask his late wife’s name and run it at http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/ssdi.cgi to check for sure. Once scammers find out how to use this and pick real names of the deceased then we can go to press releases. As for email addresses, we use first and last names. BUT if another personal has your name already taken, then you add an initial, middle name, abbreviated name, or a number at the end of your name. You can determine my .mil address by my name here. Others with my name have slight changes to it but no one uses initials. And even if that were the case, you can use his initials, right? He’s a scammer!
I very recently met a man who claims to be in the army and he said he was deployed in afghanistan 8 months ago and that he’d be back here in June. I asked him what time it was in afghanistan and he gave me the correct time. He claims to be an only child born and raised in Wyoming but he claims to live in a base in El Paso, Tx. Wife died from an auto accident 4 years ago. we started communicating through yahoo although he was first persistent to use aim because he uses an aol email address. He sent me pictures of him and a boy whom he claims to be his son and another picture where he was on a treadmill and I noticed what seemed to be a mil tag hanging from a chain on his neck. He has professed his love for me and wants to marry me already after having just met on Thanksgiving day. I asked him for his mailing address supposed to send him a package and he first refused but when I told him how scammers worked, he asked me to promise him not to send any package as he didn’t want me to think that he was using me for gifts so he gave me his apo address which is HSC 62ND ECB FOB Sharana Afghanistan APO, AE 09311. He got pissed at me and asked me if I even want his ssn. I’ve chatting with him since Thanksgiving every night on or before 9:00pm est and then last Tuesday he claimed he was assigned on a mission from a few days. He was gone from Wed and Thurs but Friday night, he instant messaged me and we didn’t discussed about his so called mission. For some reason we only chat for an hour or so, he always has to go after about an hour. He does send me an email which I would get either in the morning or at noontime. Anyway, I asked him for his AKO address and he refused to give it to me so when I said i sent him an email using his first and last names@us.army.mil, he said he used his initials. he claims he can’t do skype bec he doesn’t have a webcam and for security reasons. He said his job entails missions, attacks and repair. I didn’t ask him to elaborate. He got very mad at me when I told him I needed him to give me info so I could be certain that he was telling me the truth. Please give me your take on this. Thanks so much.
Hi I was only on this website a couple of weeks before a captain Edward pedersen contacted me with photos etc with his name clearly displayed on his uniform within days he was asking to hear my voice guess what it was going to cost me over five hundred pounds for that pleasure told him if he wanted to hear my voice that much he best get saving then he wanted to visit me for Xmas and yes u guessed it was going to cost. Me 1200 for that pleasure unfortunately for Edward I work with military personnel who told me that the army pays for transportation when I confronted him about it he has done everything he can to proof me wrong I have even had a phone call from some American man stating he is edward pedersen I may now ask for his mil address I traced his yahoo email to Sunnyvale California but something just don’t feel right to me his grammar is appalling and I would love to let the person whose photos he is using know that he is being used this way unfortunately for mr so called captpedersen@ yahoo.com this girl is an NHS nurse who ain’t got alot of money and what I do have will only be parted with for my kids and to pay my bills But I would love to hear from anyone else who has heard from or has pictures of Edward pedersen
well, this is a similar case happened to my friend in Peru. She meet a guy in Tagget.com Capt Zerio Jhonson almost the same thing, he has a daughter 5 years old, he is widowed and he want to meet her in Peru.he told her she has to send a letter to army …@usa.com , for the Army give to him permission for visitor her. She sent me tha letter and other email and I show to my husband , because he is in the army, and my husband reconigze that Capt. Zerio was a lier and everythings told her wasnt true. the Cap wants her money. I feel so bad because she really fall in love. Take care and be careful.
PD. You can see when they wright is not properly american english (probably fhrases, idioms, etc) no too bad like I write because I am from Peru and my native language is Spanish . Good luck in you search
Edith,
If he says his wife and parents died, ask for names and look them up on the social security death index link posted at the start of this article.
Notice that ALL these guys have the same stuff in common?
Webcam is prohibited?
Ghana or Nigeria is somehow involved?
They get punished for talking to you, making it YOUR fault so you will not ask questions?
When I was deployed I had my webcam on all the time when I was off duty. I made 8 hour skype calls.
I do not care how long you study overseas, you do not come back with an accent if you were raised in America. He is simply NOT American. He KNOWS you want to believe so he dangles some stupid answer knowing that you will somehow complete the connection to justify everything and make it just right.
As for the pictures he sent, I bet they are very small size, like 100k or smaller, right? Because those you can steal off the web. Real camera shoot over 2000kb and you should receive large files accordingly.
We don’t do 2000 push ups. He would be in the world record book for that. I don’t know what a daredevil is. It’s not American.
His rank should be the FIRST thing he tells you. Look at my name here, it says MSG! If he stalls he is having a buddy look up ranks and feed him information so he knows what to tell you.
There is just too much wrong here. I am not able to check the White Pages this holiday weekend for his name but I can tell you for sure, you have a scammer there.
MSG Robert Mclaughlin,
Thank you first and foremost for your service sir, I have nephews in the armed forces and am very proud of them,(one who died as a result of PTSD after returning from Iraq). So I have the utmost respect for anyone who serves and lays their life on the line for all of us.
If you could help me with this I would GREATLY appreciate it.I am widowed now only for 5 months and I have been the victim twice before from these internet scammers and can not bear to have my heart trampled on anymore. I have not specifically searched for someone in the military, these guys seem to find me. Currently I am corresponding with a Navy man who is stationed in New York, He is a widower now for more than 2 years, wife died of cancer. Has a young son 5yrs.old that he first said is staying with his mother, and then he later claimed both his parents had died some years ago, when I called him up on it he said that it was actually his mother-in-law the boy was with, and that he felt so close to her he calls her his mum.(hummm)
I have asked him to email me using his .mil acct, and he did slightly begrudgingly, it is allen.kingstrom@navy.mil . The acct he has been corresponding with me on is akingstrom@yahoo.com. I also gave him my personal cell phone number, and the first time he called me imagine my surprise when he speaks with a fairly heavy European accent. He said it is because he studied extensively in Portugal, aviation engineering, and that he was American born. So because I was questioning him so much he decided to show himself on webcam last night just for a few seconds because he said it was forbidden. And yes he was the same guy in the pics he sent me before,which were of him in uniform acouple of them he appears to be in Iraq with other uniformed personnel.Now this morning he comes online and claims he was punished and had to to 2000 push ups and 50 dare devils to get his internet back. Also he tells me that he has agreed to travel to Ghana “with some of the boys for a research programme”,his exact words,and will be gone about 3 weeks but will call or email me every day.
I have not gotten his rank or social yet,and I have done a search for him on both beenverifyed and checkmate and came up with absolutely nothing. He says he was born in New York on Aug. 7, 1969. And that he is a trainer for recruits.That is about all I know about him so far, we have been corresponding now for only a few days.I am still having my dobts about him because of the accent, his voice on the phone sounds exactly like one of my other past scammers, who I reported and think he got into trouble over me. I really need to know if this guy is for real before I get anymore involved with him, so any help here you can give me I will be very grateful for, Thank you so much.
In Response to Danny Brown, I would be more than happy to e-mail you in regards to the supposedly Sgt Scott Patterson. I only spoke with him for 2 days, that’s all the time it took for me to figure this person out. If you want, drop me an e-mail at lalapearose@yahoo.com, I can forward you the e-mails.
I reported Bode Carter so maybe he will get dealt with
Leigh I apparently was online dating the same guy you were and whwn he asked me to send him $2000 for his brothers accident I thought something wasn’t right. He was to get home in October and when I told him I wasn’t going to send money but would help him get on contact with embassy officials he said they were covered and I’ve never heard from him again. He used the name Bode Carter too and I started checking the internet to see if he was a scam and I guess he is.
Leigh, that is a classic scammer you have there. Why send you a check and not the recipient at the end of the line? Think about that.
I have been duped recently by a man that claimed he was deployed in Kubul, Afganistan. He said his name was Cpt. Mark Ostby and sometimes Cpt Ostby Mark quirarte. He claimed to be 46 years old, divorced for seven years and had a 15 year old son named Kyle. His mother was sick with cancer and the childs mother was on drugs. His english was not that great but yet he sounded so genuine. He feel for me pretty quickly as well and also requested money for communications and when i said i didnt have it he got very angry and tried to make me feel guilty. He claimed to be a Christian and we fasted from Oct 31 to Nov 7 but I understand that was fake now. I talked to him the night of the 7th but after that I have heard no more from him. I have tried to email his child, and reverend with no response. I’m thinking that he might have set all these emails up himself. I think this is very sick individual that would pray upon people that want to find love but the Bible says that you will reap what you sow.
God Bless You
I have been talking to a Navy man for 3 months. I met him on Match.com so I thought he is/ was legit, but recently I started having some doubts and began to investigate. He has a brother that was in a car accident in East Timor and he needs to get money to him for surgery. He had a check sent to me from one of his brothers business assoc. I called the bank and they were unable to verify the check. My military man has asked that I deposit the check so that I can send the money to his brother. He will suppose to be coming home in less than a week. I have been chatting with Bode Carter through an AOL account, his parents are dead and he has a daughter (sounds too familiar?). I have asked many military questions previously and have not gotten an answer. I just asked for his military email address. Have I been duped?
So I am pissed off and very angry so I sent sgt.scott pattreson a email explaining to him I know he was trying to scam me and that I was hours away of western union $750.00 of my money to who ever to bring him home and I am so thankful to my baby sister who researched this info and cam accross this web site. So I got a email back and he has the nerves to say:I’m so sad they poisoned your mind against me.What do I gain playing games….remember I told you I was talking to a women before I met ya and I realized all she wanted is something not serious…that’s lori..she will say anything to turn you against me cause I stopped talking to her…all I know is I will never stop loving you even though they’ve already done their worst for you to hate me.
So I’m like really you still want to lie well ok. all I need to know is why and what people do to hurt others. Lori please email me would like to know what this man said to you.
Well I have also been contacted by Sgt. Scott Patterson who told me he was station in Kabul afghanistan and have been there for five months. First he wanted me to do a proxy wedding to marry him. He told me he had one son his name was Steven and he was 11 and his wife died two years ago of lungs cancer. The proxy wedding cost $950.00 and with military discount it would cost$900.00, But they needed a copy of military ID and copy of wife death certificate and then Scott said he would wait so he wanted me to write to the military to request his leave so I sent a email for that request too:militaryinquiry@mail2army.com and got a response from a man name General Robert Gate. He sent me a form to fill out from the Department Of Defense so I did that and recieved a email requesting I send $750.00 western union to a Janeen shoemaker in Illinois Rockford which is suppose to be for flight and he was to go to fort hood base.
Why he choosed me to try beats me but I am glad for my sister who saw through him. I just thought wow I finally found someone. But he answered my ad off of Craig list.
Marvetta, the request for the ts2 is very common. His wife died? Ask him her name and when she died then look it up. He is indeed scamming you and is not a soldier.
Paula, Ah yet another widower. Ask when the wife died and her name, then verify at the social security death index. A general in Baghdad? There are about 2 generals there, if that many. Generals don’t surf dating sites. The rest of the scam is right as he expects, he is leading you along in a classic scam that I hear of every single day. The guy you are talking to is not in the military. Block him.
Hi Robert,
I wish I had found this site earlier, I got duped by a guy for over a year who told me he was in the Military, he told me he was on special operations in iraq, silly me believed him, I asked him for his army.mil address and he said he could not give it to me as it was secret, that he could not give me an army address there as his unit were special investigations and it ws not possible, I said to him he must have an army APO address and he said they didn.t, he said he could not get access to a phone, or go on a cam.
He also said his parents died when he ws 21, that he had no family which I thought was old, he made up 2 facebook accounts, one had just me and my kids as his friend, the other one he said his friend made it up, but he had the same photos on both accounts. When I would accuse him of being fake, he would get angry with me.
He would come and go, sometimes not hearing from him for a couple of months, told me he got injured etc.
He said his name was Mike Madison, and a 1st Lt with Special Investigations. I had an army friend who checked him out and he could not locate him.
He told me he loved me within a day, which I questioned him about it and said that was not possible, he never asked for money, I thought he was geniune, I even let him talk to my daughter and son…He said he ws from Maine and had his family’s home, and had friends renting it, and then another time he said he gave it to his friends.
He told me his fiancee had walked out on him months before their marriage etc years before.
He also said he had been in Iraq for 7 years on and off and his unit would be the last to leave
+1
Hi Robert,
I was contacted by a soldier on Facebook on 8/16/2011. His name is Carter Benson, date of birth is March 4, 1960. He is from Long Beach, CA and attended University of Southern California. His wife died of Cancer 6-7 yrs ago ,but don’t know her name.At the time we started chatting he was a general in Baghdad Iraq. Then he decided to retire and come here to be with me. He said since he resigned over there, they would only give him some money and he’d have to travel by bus to Ghana and catch flight there. Well he got there then found out he had to get new visa since he was now a civilian. I was naive and know nothing about military, sent him money for hotel and visa. 3 western unions totalling $680 . I’m on disability and had to do payday loans so now I’m in financial mess. Don’t know what to do. Now his visa expires in 3 days and he needs money for hotel and flight. I said no, I have none. The money was picked up by a new friend who is helping him by name of Isacc Boateng. I would like to know if there is a real Carter Benson. I would love to let him know what is going on. Can you find anything for me? Thank you
I have been contacted by a sgt E 7 Bowen Mark . says i need to contact ts2 and fequest to be able to talk to him think he is trying to scam me
he is 36 said his wife died so makes me very leary says hes sattioned in pakistan sincerely marvettachurch
Women are widows. Men are widowers. The scammers don’t even know English.
I was also contacted by a Sgt Scott Patterson that said he was stationed in Afghanistan. It’s probably the same Scott that Angel was talking to. He sent me a message on facebook and I spoke with him for 2 days. I had a feeling right off the bat that something wasn’t right. I checked his IP address and the messages he was sending me came from Ireland. I asked him about it and he got all defensive and said that the e-mails got re-directed from that location. For a second, I wanted to believe him but I did my homework and found out he was lieing. Also, he told me he was a widow and had a son named Steven, who was 11 years old. He told me that his wife died of lung cancer. When hunting around on google, I found the real Sgt Scott Patterson, who is also a widow but has 4 children and none of them have the name Stephen.
Francis,
A .mil address is an email address ending in .mil. Most end in .com, .net and .org but .mil is for military folks only. Mine is my first name, a period, my last name, then @us.army.mil. If you write to me there I will get the email. So your scammer does not even know what a .mil address even is!
Also there is no rank of LT, it is 2LT or 1LT. Another minus for not even knowing the ranks. I’d just block them and move on.
Thank you Robert…
Ok… so there are good indicators that she is not who she says she is so now what do i do?
She has just recently told me that her ‘.mil’ address was this…
c/o Lt. Tyra Newton
Camp Eggers
Kabul
Afghanistan
I know now what a ‘.mil’ should be and this is not it.
I’ve looked it up on the internet and yes it does exist but how can i find out if she is really there or not.
i can’t seem to find a phone number or a proper address for this place…
But anyway… so i have a fish that wants to play with me… how do i catch it ???
Can i catch it ??? Personally i’m getting tired of this game already but if i let her get away she could try and con someone else and i don’t want that.