MSG Robert Mclaughlin has been assisting our readers ferret out military dating scammers since I wrote Internet Dating Scam: Fake Soldiers back in October of 2009.
Moreover, he’s also been educating us about how to avoid getting caught up in a military dating scam.
His latest comment highlighted in point form all the things to look for when you meet someone online who says he or she is in the military. (Note: some changes have been made to the original text simply for readability. The original meaning remains unchanged).
- If he says he is military do not trust, especially if he uses a hotmail, yahoo or other free email account address. Ask for his email address ending in .mil. All military folks have one. If he says he doesn’t have one, or won’t give it to you, he is not a soldier. If he says it’s secret then demand the other one. YES, there are classified email addresses out there but all military personnel also have an unclassified address.
- Is he claiming that someone in his family died? Wife, parents, kid,etc? Check the social security death index to verify his claims.
- Is he divorced? Ask him in which county he received his divorce decree. Records of the divorce will be on file and many counties have the information online now.
- If he is telling you that he needs money to take leave, here are some facts. We earn 2.5 days of leave per month. That’s 30 days a year. If we pay for leave we only pay the plane ticket in the states. So maybe he needs $400 to fly coast to coast. You do not want a man who cannot even afford a plane ticket at that age. We pay no money for leave at all. The form we use is DA31, Google it. Anything else is fake.
- If he is under cover or on secret work he would never tell you unless you have a clearance and a need to know what he does. So that is a lie.
- Ask for a picture of his CAC card or have him take a picture of himself for you and have him write your name on a piece of paper for the photo. That is very simple to do.
- Scammers who lure women talk of love now and in the future. Scammers who lure men do so with promises of sex. Remember if the person is not acting like the opposite sex, it is a scam.
- Ask their name, rank, and social. Not classified and even what you tell the enemy when captured. If he wants you to show your devotion by sending money, well he can show his by providing information you can verify.
- I have checked out over 50 claimed soldiers for folks here. Only one was really who he said he was. The odds are that his claim of being a soldier is fake if you have doubts.
Thanks again kindly to MSG Robert Mclaughlin for providing us with this very useful information.
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Kim,
Wow a year is a long time to be duped. Then again these guys have nothing else to do and being deployed is the perfect excuse for not contacting you.
If he is in special operations then he has an army.mil account as well as a socom.mil account. There are classified accounts. The address itself is not classified, heck you can put it on a business card. We even send unclassified emails on it. It is just that it is on a completely different network and you can not email a classified account as it never touches the Internet. For that reason we use our unclassified addresses as much as possible. No such thing as a secret email address, just secrets contents of the email.
I was accused of being fake once, and was asked a bunch of questions. I was happy to answer as I was not lying and I was flattered that the person went to the trouble of finding out more about the military just for this purpose.
We have no “Special Investigations.” If he is a law enforcement investigator them he is in the Military Police field, not special operations.
Guys never fall in love in a day. We may ask for pictures and other personal info in a day but not love. You may as well want to grow a cactus in a day.
The email addresses of yahoo.com are ones that anyone in the world can get. It is what is after the @ symbol that counts. The part before can be all secret sounding and exciting, but you make it up on your own.
I got scammed coming out of a relationship, it works both ways. It can be very expensive. It took me years to recover.
Yup you have a scammer there for sure. So sorry.
Hi Robert,
I wish I had found this site earlier, I got duped by a guy for over a year who told me he was in the Military, he told me he was on special operations in iraq, silly me believed him, I asked him for his army.mil address and he said he could not give it to me as it was secret, that he could not give me an army address there as his unit were special investigations and it ws not possible, I said to him he must have an army APO address and he said they didn.t, he said he could not get access to a phone, or go on a cam.
He also said his parents died when he ws 21, that he had no family which I thought was old, he made up 2 facebook accounts, one had just me and my kids as his friend, the other one he said his friend made it up, but he had the same photos on both accounts. When I would accuse him of being fake, he would get angry with me.
He would come and go, sometimes not hearing from him for a couple of months, told me he got injured etc.
He said his name was Mike Madison, and a 1st Lt with Special Investigations. I had an army friend who checked him out and he could not locate him.
He told me he loved me within a day, which I questioned him about it and said that was not possible, he never asked for money, I thought he was geniune, I even let him talk to my daughter and son…He said he ws from Maine and had his family’s home, and had friends renting it, and then another time he said he gave it to his friends.
He told me his fiancee had walked out on him months before their marriage etc years before.
He also said he had been in Iraq for 7 years on and off and his unit would be the last to leave
I recently found out that he was in contact with another woman in England, and he said exactly the same things toher as he did me, we shared stories and ours were identical, about the things he promised to us.
I feel like a fool….I don’t even think he is in the army.
his emails were love_storm322@yahoo,com and lovecomessoftly2001@yahoo,com.
I don’t understand how people can be so cruel.. Not sure if you have heard of this man…i think he is scamming lots of women, I think he preys on women who have just come out of a relationship.
Kim
Her parents are dead? Ask their names and when they died. Then go here and verify the claim:
http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/ssdi.cgi
Yes the email is usually their name. We have the choice of what to call it, mine is my first name a period and my last name. The next guy with my same name needs to use a middle initial or a number to differentiate. I’d never use my rank if I had intended to get promoted, which we all do.
Denying a simple picture? Wow. I smell a rat.
G3 is not an MOS, it is a work section. A MOS is from 00 to 99 with a letter after it. 11B is infantry, 18D is special forces, 31E is MP corrections, etc.
You have a fake there.
I have just heard from Tyra.
She responded to the question about the picture request.
She declined as she wants to keep things quiet for now.
in other words she doesn’t want anyone knowing about her involvment with me at the moment.
She says her MOS is G3, chief of current operations… is this correct ???
I’ve got it… MOS (MILITARY OCCUPATIONAL SPECIALITY CODE) ???
forgot to mention… she says both of her parents are dead.
Her name is LT. TYRA NEWTON.
If my understanding of MIL addresses is correct it should go something like this shouldn’t it ???
tyra.newton@us.army.mil
or
lt.tyra.newton@us.army.mil
which ever way i try to send it the email is undelivered.
She uses the term vacation.
I learned about MIL addresses recently and asked her what her unofficial address was. She claims it is the one she is using right now which is her ‘ymail’ address. This does not ring true to me somehow.
Her rank is Liuetenant. and she says she is from Lexington, New Carolina.
She has sent me some pictures. They do look like they were taken from a camera and the first ever email she sent me is quite extensive in her description of who she is.
I’m more than happy to forward it on to you if you can look at it for me.
I have just now mailed her back asking her for a picture of herself holding a piece of paper with my name on it.
i made up an excuse that i showed her picture to someone at work and that they didn’t believe me when i said i was mailing her.
It will be interesting to see what her response is to my request.
What is MOS ???
I will let you know what happens.
Many thanks.
Hi Francis,
Here’s my opinion in line with your comments:
She is in the US Army? Ask her what her military e-mail address is (It needs to end in .mil). If she does not have one, she is fake. Ask her rank as well, and her MOS, where she went to basic, what is her hometown.
Did SHE say unofficial holiday? We say LEAVE. As in I want to take leave and visit you. An order with the bank to only let her have so much money? No such thing. It is her money. Sounds more like parents and not a bank. I smell something else not right. Sounds like a con for sure.
Has she sent photos? Are they low res small pics like she stole them from a site online or are the high res large images like a camera makes? Can she send a picture of herself holding a paper with your name on it? Can she see you on Skype with a webcam? Verify the info in the first paragraph here and post back. I do not think she is real so far from what you have told me.
I could do with some advice on a small issue and it was suggested that i post my message on this site.
I am a guy who has been mailing a woman for the last month who claims to be in the US Army in Kabul.
She says she would like to visit me on a unofficial holiday and has asked me to send her some money to help her come across to the UK. She says that at present she cannot get the money herself because she has an order with her bank to only allow her to have so much money while she is in the Army.
She says that when she comes across the UK she has to send proof that she is on vacation so that the bank can release her more money on request.
We get along really well but i don’t know what to believe about her right now and I’m finding it difficult.
Is she right or is this someone out to con me???
Any help you can give me would be much appreciated.
She is expecting me to send the money in 2 weeks…. What do i do ?????
Tell him nice try. He is trying to get you to feel bad and stop talking with me since I can expose him rather quickly. He needs to give YOU his .mil email address so YOU can write to him. Block him and ignore anyone without a .mil address, they are all scams unless they can prove they are military with more than a few photos anyone can get.
dear sir,
thank you for your reply. i have since been contacted by sgt patterson and he said you have contacted him and he is very disappointed in me, and that i have gotten him in trouble. is this true, have you contacted him? is he a real soldier?
thank you,
angel
If the .mil bounces it is a fake, period. I am glad you thought to ask!
Hi Robert.
I have a feeling I was just scammed by a man claiming to be Staff Sargeant Wesley Barden active duty serving in Iraq at Camp Victory. He has sent love poems…some with sentenances and words not even making sense. The use of English is not very good. Which sent me Red Flags. I asked him questions like how many days of leave do you get? He couldnt answere and tried to change the subject. He requested me to send him a $500 Blackberry Torch, he claims he can’t buy one on base and that there is nowhere in Iraq to buy one. I told him to go online and buy one.
He sent pics of him and men in army uniforms and one of him in full dress uniform. The kicker is he also sent pics of him with “his young son”.
I did not send him anything and have not responded to his text messages and, today I tried to send an email to him at .mil…adress that you have talked about in this article…..the email I sent bounced back saying no such address was found….Big Surprise!!!!!!!!!!
It saddens and infuriates me that this kind of thing is going on and, that there are such Ugly and Nasty people out there. I have so much respect for all the fine people in the military and want to thank you all for the great sacrifices you all make. I wish that someday soon there will be a online registry of some sort that will alert unsuspecting people of all the shady characters “posing” out there….Thank you for your time Lucy.
Angel, those two emails end in hotmail.com, anyone can make up those addresses. Real addresses end in .mil. As for his being a widow, check the link I posted previous to your post.
i was contacted by a sgt scott patterson deployed in afganistan. he claims to be widowed and has 2 boys, richard 14 and steven 11, who live in ohio with his mother. he says his bday is 10-15-62. he also gave me some email addresses so i can make an “enquiry for call request”… commanderreynoldskaburbase@hotmail.com then he said that wasnt it, to use us25_battalioncommanderbase@live.com i wanted to believe so much of what he was saying but when i questioned his english, he wrote that he grew up on the french side, the french side of what, ohio?? i asked. he said no he grew up in belguim. please tell me my gut was right and this wasnt a soldier.
thanks!
angel
oh and the website he found me on was largeandlovely.com
Ann-Brit,
He is a widower? Verify her death athttp://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ But he is fake. A doctor is always an officer, a sergeant is enlisted. Ask him to write to you from his .mil account.
Sheryl,
Instructor.net is not an Army address. And a CO will not get involved with a soldier that intimately to get online and send emails to friends and ask for money. Ever. I bet it was Western union or other non-refundable and non-traceable way, eh?
Brioni,
You mean military.com address, which is not military. If it says military.gov it is a spoofed address, not real. I’d reply but do not see your address. You can write to me at my first name, a dot, then my last name, then @us.army.mil . leave out the rank. That way you can be sure that ***I*** am real!
Brioni,
Every bit of those claim forms is fraud. Bogus. Made up. The bad guys make them look real and official. The better they look the less you question them.
Sheryl,
He is a fake, NOT a soldier. All military emails end in .mil so look for that. Any .net is an email anyone can get.
Wendy,
So, Major Ned Sutton is a widower? Ask him for his .mil email address, and ask for his dead wife’s name. Then type the name into the form at http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ and you will know INSTANTLY if he is real or not. I bet he is fake since he is using yahoo and not .mil. Yahoo is fine for chat but there is no way to verify who he is.
shillysit06,
“Field 18” is not how we say our MOSes. 18 is Special Forces. He’d be 18B, 18C, 18D, 18E, 18F, 18X or 18Z. The last two are rare as they are newly a enlisted position and a senior position. He is a SGT the pay grade for that is E-5, shows you got him with a trick question to which he did not know the most basic answer. In fact in the military we all go by E- or O- numbers, not rank names, because they differ across the services. An Army Captain is O-3 but a Navy Captain is O-6. If he is a widower ask what his wife’s name was in casual conversation and how long ago she died then go to http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ and search to see if he is truthful. I DOUBT HE IS. DEAD WIVES SEEM TO BE A SCAMMER’S FORTE.
Lynna McMillan,
Good info!!!
ALL:
1. Demand A .mil email address.
2. verify death claims at http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/
3. Ask for a picture of him holding a paper with your name on it.
4. NEVER send ANY money.
I would like to find out some information … I am talking to a Sgt in the US Military, based in Afghanistan, who is wanting to retire from there. To cut the story short, I was sent from the US, a claims form, followed by a Benefit funds Notification form … BUT, to have the funds released into said bank account .. comes with the cost of the bank charges etc etc … large sum of money. I was named Claimant, so I asked for those funds to be deducted before payment to bank account, but apparently this is not the way the US Military do things. They request that the money for the bank charges, processing be paid upfront. Is this correct, or is this not the way they do there business. The forms arrived from a military.gov email address … but just a little bit concerned now … as I have never struck for funds to be paid upfront like this before … I would like you to maybe reply to me via my email address, where I can send you the form that I received, so you can at least tell me whether this form is for real, or a fake.
Bri
have been texting a sgt corey chadwick supposedly stationed in kabul afghanistan. yes i should have known better but fell for some emails supposedly from his section CO which are likely fraudulent i now know. I want to know if he is a real soldier or not…..if he is i will deal with him via army! i found him on myspace and there he says hes at kandahar, FOB Ramrod!?? i dont know what to believe but so far his leave he had me request has cost me $10,000.00! now i get a CO (?) email saying to complete his making me his benficiary, i have to pay $14,800.00! NO WAY! that should coat nothibg to do! Please help me find out if he is an army person, real person, what> The info he has sent me says hes an E-5 in the 178th infantrydivision, rangers. The email to his supposed CO he gave is gen.mc_usarmy_app@instructor.net …….prob not real! He says he’s 41 and was deployed in 2010 but his myspace says he’s 25 and lists an email calles “heyitsmecorey”. the only thing that matches are the photos he sent me are also on his fb and myspace! PLEASE HELP SO I CAN TRY TO RECOUP MY MONEY! THANKS
Hi again!
The name should be Hammond
Ann-Brit
Hi Robert !
I was wondering if u could help me, i am talking with i man whos called, well at least he says he name is Hammon David Miller but calles himself Hammon Miller, hes from Rush City MN, hes a widower and has 1 daughter, hes currently in Afghanistan and is an seragent and a doctor, thats what i have found out for the moment and that he is stationed near by Kabul, is this person true or fake, plz help me
Ann-Brit
Hi Judy,
Did I reply to this already? I don’t see a reply. No such person exists, it’s a fake. DEMAND that .mil email address everyone!
Hi Judy,
I love it when they give such detail. DOB and middle name help very much. I found all the David Shoemakers, none have a middle initial of M and none are SGM, CSM, or anywhere close to E-9. At least now you know, you can color him BUSTED!
Hi Robert:
Wondered if you can assist. Currently dealing with a gentleman who I am not finding anywhere. LOL Would love to find out he is legit. David Millanto Shoemaker, mother Italian/father american. He states he is a Sargeant Major DOB 8/26/58. Says father was a general in military and passed away years ago. Can you help and see if he is for real? Thanks
PS Thanks to you and this site, I have already busted 6 military dating scammers in the last week alone. Boy they are busy. It’s just that David seems different than the others. Thanks again.
I don’t know of a best site for military folks. I think it is more of a feature of a person, like wanting a cop or a guy 6’4″. Anyone can join the military to find themselves, but those of us who stay have a character all their own. Everyone in the military is my brother.
I used to be on one of the major sites, the name is not that important as it was just what I had selected. I don’t know if you can do a search by military status. You may ask for it on the sites.
Another consideration is that the person will get out of the military one day. Then what? Are we only wanted while we are in? Do you want a military life? What if we get out a few years later and don’t fit into our uniforms any more? Will you still want us?it is not always excitement and glamor. My last relationship ended because of deployment. God bless the women who can support us, they are few and far between.
I just googled “military dating sites” and found plenty. They may all be run by the same person, who knows. Even then how do they verify service? It’s okay to question if we are who we say we are, we’re proud to tell you what we can. My best suggestion would be to use a major site not specific to the military but search for military once there.
can you tell me about the dating site called I wanna a soldier? It is real? I tried to register but I could not. What is the best dating site to meet military men ? Cindy