Helping singles meet their matches & mates online since 1998

Personal Ad Decoder for Men and Women

Having a tough time figuring out what he or she REALLY means by something they said in a personal ad or over dinner?

Here are some very funny clues.

Men’s Personal Ad Decoder:

  • 40-ish…56+ (it’s the red convertible that makes him feel so young)
  • Active…Gets up to get his own damn beer
  • Adventurous……Asks for extra spicy on his burrito supreme
  • Enjoys cooking……Can operate microwave
  • Enjoys travel…..Never asks for directions
  • Athletic……Loves playing Madden 08 on XBox 360
  • Generous…Incapable of thinking of anyone other than himself
  • Romantic…Has Viagra prescription
  • Considerate……Leaves seat up and is a bad aim.
  • Emotional……..Gets pissed when out of beer
  • Loves pets…….Does not pick up poop especially from some dumbass little dog
  • Loves children…Really doesn’t like poop so get used to it
  • Loves family…..Will probably hit on your sister.
  • Loves to laugh…Smokes too much pot
  • Loves strong coffee…….Usually hung over
  • Looking for soul mate…Search likely to go on for a long, long time
  • Slim…..Sickly.
  • Boyish-charm…Momma’s boy
  • Youthful…..Bald as a baby
  • Man’s man…….Hair growing everywhere even where seemingly impossible

Women’s Personal Ad Decoder:

  • 40-ish…..49.
  • Adventurous…..Slept with everyone.
  • Athletic…No breasts.
  • Average looking………..Moooo.
  • Beautiful……Pathological liar.
  • Emotionally Secure….On medication.
  • Feminist…….Fat.
  • Free Spirit…Junkie.
  • Friendship first……Former Slut.
  • New-Age……Body hair in the wrong places.
  • Old-fashioned….No B.J.’s
  • Open-minded…..Desperate.
  • Outgoing…….Loud and embarrassing.
  • Professional…….****.
  • Voluptuous…Very fat.
  • Large frame…….Hugely fat.
  • Wants soul mate………..Stalker.

Women’s English Decoder:

  • Yes……No
  • No…Yes
  • Maybe…….No
  • We need……..I want
  • I am sorry……You’ll be sorry
  • We need to talk…You’re in trouble
  • Sure, go ahead…You better not
  • Do what you want………You will pay for this later
  • I am not upset…..Of course, I am upset, you moron!
  • You’re attentive tonight…Is sex all you ever think about?

Men’s English Decoder:

  • I am hungry…I am hungry
  • I am tired…….I am tired
  • Nice dress….Nice cleavage!
  • I love you…….Let’s have sex now
  • I am bored….Do you want to have sex?
  • May I have this dance?…I’d like to have sex with you.
  • Can I call you sometime?………I’d like to have sex with you.
  • Do you want to go to a movie?…….I’d like to have sex with you.
  • Can I take you out to dinner?….I’d like to have sex with you.
  • I don’t think your shoes go with that outfit……..I’m gay.

Men!! Want to learn how to read any woman’s mind and know exactly what to say to get her turned on to you?

Then watch this video about Pandora’s Box.

Make sure you watch the entire presentation to find out exactly how to do it… and how other guys have done it as well. Remember: Watch the entire video! The end of it may shock you.


Ladies!!

Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts.

What’s a woman to do?

Check out “The Women Men Adore… and Never Want to Leave” by Relationship Doctor Bob Grant.


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