Want to STAY in your current relationship? Then heed the 10 Commandments of Love below!
- I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.
- Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.
- Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.
- Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too damn weird.
- Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.
- Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what’s good for thee.
- Thou shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.
- Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.
- Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.
Thoughts? Please share them in the Comments section of this post.