Site Map  Subscribe to 101Date.comNews FeedSubscribe to 101Date.comComments  

Browse > Home / Archive by category 'Articles / Poking Fun'

Poking Fun

Latest Entries in the Poking Fun Category

Responsible Nigerian Dating

I laughed SO hard when I found this site about Nigerian Scam Dating, I just about piddled myself.

It’s a parody on those Nigerian Scam emails we get with regularity. If you don’t get them, be glad.

The site is hilarious.

Featured members include:

Username: DavidMark
Location: Abuja

I am Mr.David Mark. an Auditor of a BANK OF THE NORTH INTERNATIONAL,ABUJA (FCT). I have the courage to Crave indulgence for this important business believing that you will never let me down either now or in the future…

And the funniest testimonial reads:

My experiences on this site have been so negative. I have tried many other sites and they are always the same old thing–value for money, great people, excellent relationships formed, etc. I’ve been there done it and got the certificate really!! But this site? Well nothing compares! Excellent, well done and many thanks spot on!!! I’m absolutely loving it. You know I may have just found my Mr. Wrong.

Thank you Nigerian Scam Dating for the rest of my miserable, penniless, broken life.

- Sally Fairfax, TX

If you need a good laugh about the online dating scene, check out the Nigerian Dating Scam site now.

The Single Girl’s Christmas Prayer

This Christmas may I have at least one really nice date.
May his car have clean seats and glass in all the windows
May he not be more than three hours late
May his left eye match the one on the right
May he have all his front teeth and not be high a a kite
May he have all his hormones under control
May he wear clean underpants without any holes
May his whiskers not burn and make my face blotch
May he think with his brain and not with his crotch
And, Lord, if I might ask for just one thing more…
May he have good aim in my bathroom and not pee on my clean floor

Installing Husband 1.0 Software

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from [tag]Boyfriend[/tag] 5.0 to [tag]Husband[/tag] 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Sincerely,

Desperate
___________________________________

Dear Desperate: Continue reading…

59 Bad PickUp Lines

Here’s a collection of really bad pick lines. Enjoy! :-)

  1. (Look at his / her shirt label) When they say, “What are you doing?”, you say, “Checking to see if you were made in heaven.”
  2. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
  3. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see around here.
  4. Are you religious? You’re the answer to my prayers.
  5. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
  6. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
  7. Can I lick that film off your teeth?
  8. Can you give me directions…to your heart?
  9. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  10. Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
  11. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  12. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
  13. Do you know how to use a whip?
  14. Do you know why the sky is so gray? All the blue is in your eyes.
  15. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
  16. Don’t stop! I don’t usually get to see beauty in motion.
  17. Don’t be so picky….I wasn’t!
  18. Falling for you would be a very short trip.
  19. Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.
  20. I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
  21. I hope you know CPR, ’cause you take my breath away.
  22. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  23. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
  24. I think I’ve just found the angel I’d like to be touched by.
  25. I want to call your mother and thank her.
  26. I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out.
  27. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
  28. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
  29. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
  30. I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I’ll still make your bed rock.
  31. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  32. Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are HOT!
  33. Let’s go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.
  34. Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
  35. Mind if I talk to you until it’s safe down there where I farted?
  36. My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.
  37. My name is [your name]. That’s so you know what to scream.
  38. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.
  39. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.
  40. That outfit would look great crumpled up on the floor at the foot of my bed.
  41. There must be something wrong with my eyes, because I can’t take them off you.
  42. Those must be space pants, ’cause your butt is out of this world!
  43. Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo choo.
  44. What do you like for breakfast?
  45. When God said, “Let there be woman,” he created you.
  46. Without my glasses, you couldn’t pass for a female.
  47. Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?
  48. You be the tree, and I’ll wrap you like a Koala.
  49. You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.
  50. You look a lot like my future wife.
  51. You look just like Joan Rivers.
  52. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  53. You sure have a great looking tooth.
  54. You’re so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.
  55. Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.
  56. Your daddy must be a thief, because he stole the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes.
  57. Your daddy must have been a baker, ’cause you’ve got a nice set of buns.
  58. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
  59. Your place or your place? Because my place is a dump!

Dear John Letter Generator

I had some fun with a Dear John letter generator (it could also generate a “Dear Jane” letter) the other day.

After selecting from a list of pre-filled form topics, it generated this letter for “Mary”.

Dear John,

I’m terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, this felt better than talking to you in person because I am a wuss like that.. This note will be the last memory you’ll ever have of me, I really don’t care for you anymore, thats the way it is.. Don’t let it get you all upset inside, I always liked your friend more. It is because of your history of lying problems that keep me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you.

You’d be much better off finding a person that can deal with annoying way you stuff your face all day long while watching t.v. on the bed. I might miss certain things about you such as the time you flirted with my father at our family christmas dinner.

I’m glad this is done and we’re going separate directions for good. I think you’ll find someone to have a decent conversation with a person of the opposite gender. And hopefully We’ll be at opposite ends of the country.

See ya later,Mary

Try it for yourself at http://www.dearjohn.com/

Next Page »