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5 Tips to Deal with a Broken Heart

Even though nobody really dies from a broken heart, you can’t underestimate how dangerous it is.

If healing a broken heart were a school subject, it would help many people avoid wasting emotions, time, and money when they grow up.

A broken heart can leave you helpless and hopeless for days, weeks, and even months. It can destroy your regular life, ruin your happiness, and even worse – you can lose your job, business, look, and family. Why? Because a broken heart equals being miserable, sad, angry and negative. All negative emotions multiply by large number. And like attracts like, so if you marinate yourself in a waterfall of negative emotions, all other areas of your life can be ruined. It’s not a joke, it’s a face that has happened to many other people.

Therefore, you need to take control of your life. “How can I do it, it’s so hard?” you are about to say. Well, you have to start somewhere.

TIP #1: DISCOVER AND UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’VE BEEN DUMPED

This is what you need to do first. You deserve to know the real reasons. You will never be able to move forward if you don’t know the real answers. Not the reasons your mom or best friend told you. Not the reasons your shrink will tell you in order to get more money out of you and make you commit to another year of paying her. If you find out the real reasons why you’ve been dumped and find out the formula of how to prevent it in the future, then you will be programmed for success. Not only will you be able to get our ex back (only if you really want to), but also not make the same mistakes when you will meet “Your True Love.”

TIP #2: STOP YOUR PAIN IMMEDIATELY

If someone got in an accident and there are lots of treatments ahead, the person is given first aid to stop bleeding and kill pain. That’s what you need to do about your broken heart as well. After realizing the real reasons, you have to STOP YOUR PAIN IMMEDIATELY. Emotional pain can be as bad as physical pain. If you are heartbroken, the only thing you really want is to roll up under the cover, cry, and never see anybody again. However, this is not a solution. The ONLY correct solution is to get you life back and become happy again. In order to do so, you need to be strong. It’s easy to say, but hard to do, huh? And in order to be strong, you need to stop your pain. But how? You need to know exact what to do and what not to do. For example, having one innocent martini can prevent you from getting your ex back forever. Or it can postpone your happy life for as long as several months. Do you have those extra months? I don’t thing so! I’m sure that you would prefer to live those several months happy, having great relationships, and enjoying your life.

TIP #3: LEARN THE RULES THAT WILL KEEP YOU IN CONTROL.

As soon as you will be able to stop your pain, you need to LEARN THE RULES THAT WILL HELP YOU REMAIN IN CONTROL. Are they any rules? You will be very surprised but yes! I’m sure your next question will be “do I have to play games? I hate it!” My answer will be “no, no game, just rules” You can compare it to losing weight. In order to lose weight, you have to eat healthy, count calories, exercise, and get plenty of water and night sleep. Would you consider yourself playing games? I don’t think so. You are just following the rules you need to follow to achieve your goals.

Many people say that they don’t believe that such rules exist, saying that each relationship and situation is different. However, the fact that people don’t believe in those rules, does not mean that those rules do not exist. Now it’s all up to you. Do you want to be in control? If yes, you have to learn. It’s like learning foreign language. Do you want to speak French/Italian/Spanish/Chinese/etc? You must understand that you would need to invest hours reading texbooks, listening to CDs, and practicing pronunciation. Why would you assume that speaking the “relationship language” is programmed to you automatically?

“What would the rules be?” you are about to ask. Those rules are simply answers to questions you ask yourself, your friends, family, and Uncle Google all of the time. For example, you know the condition when you talk to your ex inside of your head. Some people call it daydreaming. You spin the situation of your break up, imagining what would have gone down if…and “he said that, you said this, he did that, you did this, etc”. If you only knew how dangerous it is and where can it lead you and your life… That is exactly why you need to know more.

Have you ever thought to not tell your best friend about what happened and to not discuss your ex with your best friend? “You are crazy!” you think now. If I can’t tell my best friend, who I can tell? And what are best friends for if they can’t be there for me at this difficult moment? You’d be very surprised if you know how important this would be to your future and happiness. If you knew the real truth, you’d stop doing it immediately.

TIP #4: DON’T WASTE TIME – RECOVER FAST.

Another very critical thing is to RECOVER FAST. The more you stay in pain and the more you get used to this condition, the harder it will be for you to get back to a normal, happy, and healthy life. Healing broken hearts is possible to do in as short time as three weeks. All you really need to do is learn two basic exercises and start practicing them immediately. The classic “switch” and “happy hold” (Googling those terms won’t help because they are used exclusively for this site) will help you get rid of thoughts about your ex, your former love, and your future without them. “Switch” is an exercise that will help you get rid of thoughts about your ex and former drama any moment you want to do it.

“Happy hold” is an exercise for feeling happy instead of feeling terrible.

Will you be able to get rid of your pain immediately? No. But you can learn and practice it, and afterwards you will be able to become totally healthy.

TIP # 5: YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION IF YOU WANT YOUR EX BACK OR OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER.

You should understand that there are changes to get your ex back and those chances are very significant. However, you need to make that critical decision and stick to it. You recovering strategy will be based on your decision. We don’t recommend to get your ex back, but it’s your life and it’s totally up to you. However, in order for you to make this decision correctly you need to know the reasons why you should not have your ex back. And those reasons are NOT what your friends/family/shrink says.

Get more info about How To Heal A Broken Heart

This article was submitted by Viktoria Kanevsky, author of BrokenHeart911.

Comments

  1. broken heart girl says:

    can you help me? i had been with my boyfriend going on almost 6 years dont get me wrong at first the relationship was tough i used to attack him really hurt him i had big issues in the past but i managed to sort my life out because he left me an i realised i had to change we both cheated on each other bt we forgave one another because we truly did love each other ive been with other men but he is my first ever true love i adored him we have been through so much together we did everything together an changed my whole life for him we wanted a family i came off my pill an we was trying for a baby we wanted a normal relationship more than anything recently my mum became ill an i became depressed he was there for me but i think the stress of my mum being ill made us argue the arguments turned into him grabbing my throat chocking me brusing my neck i called the police an had him arrested he came back the same night i forgave him we made love a few days after we had another argument but leading to him doing the same thing but this time i didnt call the cops because i was scared i would loose him he punched a whole in my mothers bathroom door an something ticked in my head an i called the police this time he didnt come back i called him for days he said he didnt love me anymore but i know thats bull bcus he cried a few nights before telling me how much he wanted a life a future with me so 5 days have passed an hes with someone else hes telling me he loves her an hes happy but when ever ive said shes a rebound he agrees an gets angry with me? i just dont have a clue what to do as he means everything to me i dont want to meet someone new i want my boyfriend back an the future we planned together i no deep down he wants it too but hes scared of getting hurt so am i though! im so angry an hurt he would b with another woman i spoke to him last night an he called me a nigger an said hes glad i lost our 1st baby its not him she has changed him i feel like my life has destroyed this is our home everything reminds me of him i cant sleep i have images of them together its driving me insane please help me :'(

  2. SUNNY BRUNO says:

    This is wonderful,my name are SUNNY BRUNO 33 year old. I was in a relationship of 7 year which cut off cos i was unable to give my girl friend some certain amount of money for her to celebrate birthday; and i pleaded with her because of the situation i am but she refuse to listing because another guy promise to do every thing for her and she accept. the wost of it is that she was on a spell casted on her by the guy trough the help of a spell caster, so when i notice it i contact my friend BROUS for a help and then he introduce me to shanospelltemple@gmail.com that help him in a similar situation, and i contact DR shano on my own situation and the great spiritual told me never to worry that know problem with out solution that his temple is capable of solving any problem and told me to follow the rules and regulation which i did and promise me that she will come to me in 4 days.thoroughly every thing come to pass as he said to me. thanks DR shano. shanospelltemple@gmail.com.

  3. I agree with all those tips whole heartedly – to add, id say that the one thing that prevents most people from putting all those tips into actions is the PAIN. Prevention over cure. However, if you’re already suffering from that emotional pain you have to at least dampen it down somehow so it doesn’t take over your life. And it really can be a life stopper. I know from experience.

    I actually licensed as an NLP practitioner in 2006 and one of the reasons i did it was to help me with emotional pain from a relationship i was in at the time.
    It did help me. The other thing it taught me was how to communicate better. Silence is the nemesis of any relationship. Bottling up thoughts turn into even greater pain and we end up making assumptions and accusations without actually knowing the truth. That’s why I setup my web site and blog to help others with their relationship issues and also provide one to one sessions.

    Terrific post as always.

  4. It’s really sad how other people are devastated and torn into pieces. I believe with the presence of friends be it online friends or family, it will heal.

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